As I type, the first of the Orange Jesus trials remains on track for next week, so it seems necessary to provide some pre-trial testimony. Herewith.
Prosecutor: Ms. Daniels, please describe for The Court any identifying marks (scars, tattoos, moles, etc.) on the Orange Jesus's body that are not shown in known photos, videos and the like. If you do know of any.
Ms. Daniels: Yes, there are. In particular, the Orange Jesus has a severely bent Johnson, in the downward direction. The Orange Jesus would frequently brag that, in times when extramarital (or marital as oft times happened) companions were not easy to hand (job, he he!), he would fuck himself in the ass. I found that a disgusting statement, and activity.
Prosecutor: I ask The Court that the Orange Jesus be directed to the well and display his Johnson to confirm its conformance. He need not demonstrate fucking himself in the ass.
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