14 July 2015

What Really Happened to Jezza

Are conspiracy theories up your alley? Was there just a lone gunman, Oswald? Was Grenada really a threat?

Are you a fan of "Top Gear" (not the US puke version)?

Do you think that Jezza got sacked because he was a bad boy? Or was it all staged to let The Boys go?

My vote: staging. The "final" episode ran on BBC America last night, and I'm here to tell you what really went on. Put on your tin foil hats.

The original story was that Jezza cold cocked a producer at the end of an exhausting day of shooting because said producer didn't have a "hot meal" waiting for The Boys, and told Jezza that there weren't the kitchen was closed.
The 54-year-old was ravenous after arriving at his hotel at around 10pm last Wednesday night but lost his temper out after being told there was no hot food.

Clarkson told producer Oisin Tymon he fancied an 8oz sirloin with fondant potatoes, pan-fried wild mushrooms, grilled cherry tomatoes and peppercorn sauce.

But a "fracas" erupted when Tymon, 36, told him the kitchen was closed and suggested a platter of cold meats and cheeses instead.

Here's the thing: these "films", as they call them, are documentary footage, video and audio, with studio produced voice over narration added in. According to reports, Jezza was suspended immediately he (not the producer) reported the incident. The shoot in question was the last one shown last night, and during the documentary footage Jezza is heard to say "I hate working on 'Top Gear'". Hmm. Moreover, he's also heard in the normal voice over narration. If he'd actually been canned, then how did he do his voice over narration? Not allowed in the building, you know.

As of today, Chris Evans is reported to be the new Jezza (and he's got some history to boot), in search of two Amigos and production staff. Why that isn't the current staff, minus the lead producer who quit over Jezza's treatment, also isn't clear.

If The Boys (with the BBC's acceptance?) decided to stage an incident to get out of "Top Gear", what do they have to look forward to?

- BBC has lots more money to spend on production than any of the pretenders; who's going to spring for a Bugatti Veyron?
- according to reports, all of The Boys are restricted from signing with ITV (the major commercial TeeVee in the UK) for two years, post leaving for any reason
- since much of what made "Top Gear" interesting was the involvement of various Damn Gummint entities making sites and personnel available, they'll not be getting that elsewhere
- BBC has international agreements for re-broadcast; NetFlix (odds on to get The Boys) isn't in the same league
- if you're running NetFlix, or whatever, do you really want to put up with such a jerk? what's his next meltdown going to be like?
- if you want to see what a non-BBC "The Boys in Gear" looks like, try a dreadful (any will do) episode of the US version

For myself, "Jezza don't let the door smack your bony ass on the way out".

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